"Orang mana?"

That's a very simple question asked by many fellow Malaysians, which is far from easy for me to answer. 

People tend to usually quote their birthplace to explain where they are originally from, or perhaps a current residential place, long enough to be a part of their identity. 

I like exploring identity issues...but the truth is, I'm sometimes confused about my own identity. 

Back to the question, it's awkward for me to quote my birthplace as I happened to be born in Paddington, Sydney, New South Wales, Australia. Only lived there for the first 2 years of my life. Can't remember any bit of it. I don't really like to be associated with Australia actually. Hahahaha. So no, I can't say that I'm from Australia for sure (although I was told that I actually have a choice to be a PR/an Australian citizen easier than the general non-Australian public, if I want to, but nahh...no thank you). 

-Royal Hospital for Women, Paddington, Sydney-

So, I usually quote my parents' birthplace and the place they were raised as where I'm from. That's Kedah. My mom is from Alor Setar and my father is from Changlun. Not as awkward as saying I'm from Australia but it still personally feels funny as I never really lived in Kedah. The longest I've lived in Kedah was 6 months, and that was when I was teaching in UiTM Merbok, Kedah. Not long enough to actually establish myself as a Kedahan I suppose. My obviously outlandish Kedah accent doesn't help either. :P

-Kedah-

So what are my remaining choices? The closest one (to the heart) is actually Gombak, Selangor. That's because as far as I could remember, the first memory of my childhood was in Gombak.. We lived there upon returning from Sydney Australia in 1986/7. and since then, I lived there for about 14 years (1987-1991; 1996-2004). I was in Rompin, Pahang in between those years (1992-1995). 

-My primary school, for 3 years-

My whole secondary school years were in Sekolah Menengah Seri Gombak-- a humble daily school, 10 mins walk away from home. No regrets. Absolutely my choice. :) . Back then, it felt ok to say I'm from Gombak, but these days...again, it feels awkward since none of my family members lives there anymore. 

-Sekolah terchenta-

Mid 2004, our family moved to Presint 8, Putrajaya, as my father used to work there before retirement. I rebelled as I loved Gombak so much. It was a place where I learned about life and established a lot of meaningful friendships.

-The view from my bedroom in Putrajaya was really something like this-

Thank God I only had to live there for 6 months before going off to Wellington, New Zealand for a 2-year study period, a part of a twinning programme with KPM. 

-Wellington city, New Zealand-

When I returned to Malaysia end of 2006, my family had already started living in Jitra, Kedah that year, until now. What a culture shock that was! Gombak-Putrajaya-Wellington-Jitra. Grrr...

-Bandar Darul Aman, Jitra, Kedah-

For my Masters studies in June 2008-November 2009, I lived in Kuala Lumpur mostly. One semester in Kolej 11 hostel in UM, one semester renting a room in a crazy Indian granny's terrace house in Bangsar, and another semester renting a room in a flat-rumah kedai level 2 in Taman Seri Manja, PJ Old Town. Quite a crazy ride I must say.

Before I came to Coventry for studies, I lived in Shah Alam for work purposes as I was teaching in UiTM Shah Alam. I love Shah Alam, but I had only lived there for about 5 years. I guess not long enough to say that I'm from there too. 

-Picture taken from our condominium unit on level 7 in Seksyen 9, Shah Alam-

and now, I'm in Coventry for PhD studies. Doakan... 

-Coventry city-

But since my parents are from Kedah, and they are in fact currently residing in Kedah, I guess that's my best choice. I actually personally treat Kedah more as my 'kampung'...not exactly MY place. It has always been that way. A short visit to Kedah during Hari Raya once a year, since I was small. Or during university term break (during final year degree and Master studies), at most. What to do...

So I guess, I will never get the answer. That question will always be the most unappealing question for me to answer. I would be hesitant and I won't ever be happy with my answer. 

But that's alright, I guess eccentricity is in my blood. ;)

I might as well just give people the link to this post if they ask me "'orang mana?" rather than bore them with a 20-minute lecture about my regional identity. ;)

What matters most is that all these places have somehow contributed to at least a part of who I am today as we learn different things in different settings. :D

But if you are a non-Malaysian, my answer is absolutely clear -- I'm a Malaysian. :)

Azrin's 2016

Hello rusty blog!

You know what. The very reason I set up this blog was actually to share my PhD journey in Coventry with my fellow friends. 

3 months down the lane, and obviously I haven't shared much right?

A lot of things have been going on but I have mostly shared them on Instagram.

I don't seem to get much motivation to write on this blog these days..and to be frank, I'm not sure why.

Year after year and it seems to be just the same since I got married. Occasional posts here and there.

Obviously my kids are taking a lot of my precious time, which I'm not complaining about. I guess that's natural. I don't like to use my kids as an excuse, although sometimes you just need to accept the realities of motherhood. 

But, I love writing....and sharing.. 

so I guess blogging has to be one of my resolutions for 2016.

I have had a notorious history of having a looooong list of resolutions, and only achieving perhaps, hmmnn.. one?

So, here I am, doing it all again...and just being sooooo Azrin.

In random order, I must: 

1) Be more ORGANISED. I have countless notebooks. Make use of them!!

2) Be healthier. I have been on a very relaxed diet and a few personal workout and gym sessions for the past one month. Only lost 2kgs...which I think is just water weight coz I don't feel any smaller. So, need to be more determined. Eat more quality food and shake my tooshie like crazy! For God's sake, I need to lose around 10 more kilossss!!!! 

3) As mentioned earlier, blog more!

4) Join more support groups ..or any groups at all. Get to know new people, widen the social network, and keep in touch.

5) Improve my relationship with Allah. In all ways.

6) Be kinder to all people. Perform random acts of kindness, even to strangers. Don't judge, don't discriminate. 

7) Have better time management! All the more important when both husband and wife are doing PhD and handling 2 small children. 

8) Have better financial management. Which seeeeemed to start on a positive note as I have begun setting some money aside for savings, travel, etc. Let's see how much and how long this will motivate our family. Hopefully, it'll be a long-term good habit!

9) Explore more new places. From the small unfrequented cafe in the university... to the farthest end of England. We'll see. 

10) Improve my self-confidence. I've always been the kind of person who is easily intimidated by people around me. Here in Warwick, in my department, my remaining confidence can easily go down the drain amongst people who seem so intellectually capable. I didn't even say anything in my PhD class during discussion in the first 4-5 sessions for the fear of sounding stupid. Later I summoned up enough courage to give my opinions, and it wasn't so bad. In fact, it felt liberating! Confidence is building up, but still not enough to appear like a respectable PhD student. 

Ok, that's all for now. 10 is enough. Let's try not to be too ambitious. 

But for the sake of my sanity, please pray that I get to materialise all these. Aminn...

The University of Warwick.

Salam all,

In my previous post, it may sound that I was not that ecstatic about my experience in the UK so far. That is still true, up to now, but in reality, there are a lot of things to love about the University of Warwick! 

Some basic info about Warwick Uni:

• A relatively new uni in the UK which has just celebrated its 50th birthday this year (thus having no real old-style English buildings). 

• One of the Russell Group Universities in the UK.

• located in Coventry (not Warwick), close to the Warwickshire towns, the very centre of the UK (making it easier for travels).

• 3 miles away from Coventry city centre (yes, all in miles here. Pening!)

• Two biggest cities in the UK, i.e. London & Birmingham, are just 1 hour and 20 minutes train journey away, respectively. 

and based on my experience for the past 1 month, these are particularly the things that I like about the university:

• The Islamic Prayer Hall: Wow, just wow..BIG with HEATED ablution facilities, kitchen and the all-amazing WATER HOSE in the toilets!!! which is also heated!..though the heat can 'take you by surprise' at first! So go easy ya... ;D and it is just next to the Chaplaincy. 

• Rootes Grocery Store: A very convenient university's own supermarket. A tad expensive but ok for you to grab some random snacks or quick lunch/dinner meals with quite an impressive selection of Vegetarian and Halal Indian food and sandwiches. Alhamdulillah.

• Restaurants & Cafes: Yerp, still about food. There is a WIDE selection here. But, of course being Muslims, your choice is a lot more limited than others but I think for a university in a Western country, the options for halal and vegetarian dishes are quite amazing. There are Xananas, Cafe Library, Cafe Social, Le Gusta, Costa Coffee, to name a few. Of course we can't go to these places daily (because of financial limitations), but it's wonderful to have that option on some of the days you forgot to bring some packed lunch/dinner. Another wonderful thing is that we can treat our student card as a prepaid card for food via 'Eating at Warwick' scheme. You just need to topup some money on the card and enjoy 10% discount at all these uni-based cafes/restaurants (except Costa, though). and many Malaysians flock to Cafe Library on Fridays  for its signature Fish & Chips during lunch.

• Study spaces: Warwick surely understands students' diverse learning styles. Some need to study in dead silence, in an acceptable level of quietness, or in a totally casual atmosphere. You can be sure there's a place that suits you best. As for me, I like the Postgraduate Hub which is a little noisy as I am a 'casual' learner who cannot learn in silence. Dead silence is the creepiest for me. Actually I am not a library kinda person. Rarely in the past that I studied in the university. But I need to go to the university now to 'run away' from my kids. hahaha... Can't focus much at home as there will be a couple of skinny and chunky little creatures calling out my name every 10 seconds. But my husband and I are taking turns to go to the university, to be fair and to save up on childcare services. Just make do with what we have. Alhamdulillah. 

Pg Hub

• CAL: I love my department CAL (Centre for Applied Linguistics). Very casual atmosphere! As usual, staff members in a Western university never really care about being called a Prof or a Doc. We call by our first names. CAL is super small. Which turns out to be a good thing! It is just one wing on the first floor of the Social Sciences building. but lectures for MA students may be conducted in other buildings too. and I love its positive attitude. On the first day of Induction, we were happy to be informed that almost 100% of previous PhD students in CAL managed to complete their studies within 3-4 years. Now, that's motivating! and also the fact that I have the awesomest supervisor!!! She's a German and she guides me a lot in reading. She's known for her kindness and full support for her supervisees. and it turns out that we believe in the same thing, that is to WRITE from the beginning. READ & WRITE right away. We meet once a fortnight. I would need to email what I have written with a list of biblio and reflections one day before our meeting. She would respond with detailed comments within a few hours..I would read those comments and we discuss on that during the 1-hour meeting the next day. I am not required to be constantly on campus. One disadvantage at CAL, though, is that we are not even given one room or personal workspace at CAL. It is a small department with very limited rooms. There are only shared research rooms in which you need to share. Seating is on first come first serve basis. I don't really like that (I mean sitting at a table where other people's stuff are all over the places) so I would just go to PG Hub for studying. The good thing is, the supervisor doesn't get a chance to stalk me at all! hahahaha... 

• Tesco & a small shopping place: Uuh yeah, Tesco hypermarket is just 10 mins walk away from my department. It is located within Cannon Park Shopping Centre which is quite a pathetic looking small mall, but oklaaaah. Actually, it is practically within the university area. Tesco is where our family does our grocery up to now...but we heard Aldi and Lidl are cheaper. So, we'll see! But Tesco's location is super convenient!

• Beautiful views along the way to/from the university: And personally, I think you can only truly feel it when you are walking or cycling to the university. It is worth the 40-mins walk journey from home.
  

Warwick university is slowly finding its way to my heart.. but UK, hrmmm...a long way to go. What to do, NZ has set quite high standards in my expectations of life on a foreign land in a Western country. ;)

Will share more later, Insya Allah.

Salam. Ciao.

First post: From Coventry with Love (or NOT!)

Hi all,

Greetings from the land of the...English??

I am writing this in between doing my readings so I expect this is going to take forever... But at least I managed to move my lazy fingers to type out something on this platform.

It has been 1 month and 13 days since our whole family was "sent to Coventry". 

There are a lot of things to share actually because surely a 43-day experience on a foreign land offers new insights at all sorts of levels imaginable. 

Even a mere blank stare at the streets can make you feel, "Damn what have I done to my life??"

I will TRY to make this post as short as possible (by MY standards). Other intricate details will be shared in the subsequent posts, insya Allah. 

Maybe I should just do bullet points:

• I'm glad that my family members and I survive this challenging journey. Moving to a foreign country with a family consisting of 2 small kids has proven to be quite an ordeal. But there's a deep ambivalence about this perception as the source of the ordeal is also your source of SUPPORT. You get what I mean? In simpler words, Yes, kids are not easy; even to bring 'em to the nearest 7 Eleven store in Malaysia can take a careful 1-hour planning. and a husband who is also doing his PhD TOGETHER WITH you is another thick different chapter in my autobiography; BUT they are also the people that you turn to in order to make things right, they will make you feel that all the sacrifice made is all worth it, insya Allah. 
• Ok, so bullet points have proven to be a failure. Coz that was practically a paragraph, huh?

Ok fine. No bullet points. 

Hrm basically you get an idea that my first 1 and a half months here have not been exactly easy. First because of different family factors, and second is -- because the house we are renting is UNFURNISHED. Totally togel like that, you know! But things are better now, and I will share how we cope with this issue later.

AND I have been dealing with lots of self-related issues here too:

1. Am I fit enough for a PhD programme?
2. Why the heck can't I drive here? What are you so afraid about, Azrin???
3. and basically, what the fudge am I doing here? I miss Shah Alam!!! Bring me home!!!

Ok enough of all the negative sides. I will write more on that later. 

Essentially, the positive ones for now are TWO:

1. I have AWESOME supervisors! 
2. My kids are free from any respiratory problems (for now). Fresh clean air and water!!!

Alhamdulillah.

Which I will explain more later too. 

Yes, in the midst of getting to know the UK culture and all, sadly it seems at the moment that the cons outweigh the pros. 

and my 43 days experience so far seems to indicate that New Zealand is a lot better in many sorts of ways. Biased, invalid, and misleading, I know. 

So I will try my best not to make any conclusive judgments first. Let's wait and see. 

In the meantime I will keep on praying (and pray for us too please) that I will fall in love with Coventry as much as I have fallen in love with Gombak, Wellington, and Shah Alam.

Talk more soon. Ciao. 

Salam 

The last day of POT course

Salam peeps.

Sorry for the delay. Here are some more reminders given from the course last week.

• LIMITATIONs of study: Things that are beyond your control. (e.g. time, money)

• DELIMITATIONs of study: Things within your control. Things you can set. (E,g. area of study,  type of sample).

• Make detailed plans, preferably weekly plans once you start your PhD journey.

• You are who you believe you are. So have positive thoughts, please?

• Find a friend who is also serious in completing his or her PhD. Motivate one another! 

• Be positive!

Yes, I am still that positive and composed owl on the left:

Start finding you potential examiner and know him/her well:

• 
  
  
  
  Syukur. Always.
  
  
  
  
  
  Hope this helps.
  
  Ciao. Salam.

PhD Tips: Day 3 POT course.

These are are the titbits of Day 3 & 4 of the 'PhD on Time' course:

General:

• PhD should be the MOST FUN part of your study journey. 
• You must have the THIRST for KNOWLEDGE.
• You can get the BIGGER PICTURE by browsing through online theses databases such as MYTO and ADT.
• In citations, prioritise TIER 1 and TIER 2 journals. 
• Must find literature that both SUPPORTS and CONTRADICTS your ideas and expectations.
• The terms THEORETICAL and CONCEPTUAL framework are many times used interchangeably. But for those who use them differently, theoretical framework usually refers to  the framework that has more depth, i.e. more complicated and of course includes theories, not just variables. However, different schools and supervisors have different definitions of the terms, so better clarify with our own supervisors. 

Introduction:

• Chapter 1: Introduction --> Background to study [BS] --> Statement of the Problem [SP]--> Research questions [RQ] (should work like a funnel, i.e. from the most general (with laymen terms) to more specific ones: 
• BS is like a MINI LITERATURE REVIEW [LR] where you must cite the GURUS of your field of interest to form the SP
• SP is like a mini LR to form your specific RQs.
• RQs will guide your whole research.
• In the SP, do not overclaim by saying that there have been NO studies done yet in the area you want to work on. Check via all sorts of DATABASES first and even so, use 'softer' terms, NOT 'NO'. 
• RQs: There can be sub RQs as well 

Research Methodology:

• Research DESIGN is NOT the same as research METHODS. But your research methodology chapter should start with your research design. 
• RESEARCH DESIGN examples: Descriptive, Experimental, Correlational, etc
• There are many TYPES of TRIANGULATION, not just methodical. 
• Instrumentation: ADOPT, ADAPT or CONSTRUCT
• Don't forget RELIABILITY & VALIDITY. 

All in all:

• Write a REFLECTION each  time after reading. PEN YOUR THOUGHTS! 
• Have several BACKUPS.
• REWARD yourself when you have done some substantial work. 
• READ, READ & READ

A couple of snaps that may be useful to you and me:

Criteria for adequacy in quantitative and qualitative study.

'

If you want to publish according to the different parts of your thesis:

These are NOT my ideas. Simply what I have jotted down during the course. 

I believe this is just a recall for many of you, especially those who have started and graduated.

You may read more on these if you are keen to know more.

All the best peeps!

Salam & Ciao!

Phd On Time Course

Ok so I registered for the above-mentioned course in UiTM. 

Some may wonder:

• Am I going to embark on a PhD study journey?
• Am I already a PhD student?
• If not,  then aren't you currently going to weekly classes in UPM?

Hrmmn, the answer is YES for all three. 

Confusing, I know. 

And I can only give a clear answer by the end of September, insy Allah.

For now, things are very much fuzzy, so there's no point sharing them. 

So I attended the course more for preparation, recall sessions and the motivating words. I need all these.

I went to the same course in November but I think I have forgotten like 80% of it already.

Yes, I am THAT forgetful. 

So, if you are not a genius, don't act like one. 

So since it is FREE and I am very attracted to free knowledge, I registered for this course and am still in the midst of digesting all the important details. 

I just want to share the gist of what I have learnt:

Day 1: 

• Have a clear aim to finish PhD on time from the beginning. If you think you will procrastinate, you WILL procrastinate.
• PhD is ultimately for knowledge advancement. Other things like career advancement and the 'Dr' title are just bonuses.  
• Always justify with literature, literature, literature. 

Day 2: 

• Look at the BIG picture first, then only you can solve the puzzle. Meaning, look at sample theses in your fields of interest first, then only you will have a clearer picture of the thesis writing conventions and how to start off. 
• Be balanced. PhD is tough but maintain sanity. How? By:
• socialising with others (many people go cuckoo during PhD studies. true.story).
• taking good care of our family (they are the motivation, NOT burden).
• most importantly, improving the quality of our relationship with The Almighty (After all, all these so-called novel ideas and ilham do come from Him).

That's all up to Day 2. 

Tomorrow will be a new day with hopefully more helpful tips and reminders to help accelerate my sluggish pace. 

Here are some snaps from the course (sorry, I wish they are brighter). 

If you need any notes that I have from this talk, just email me ya (norazrin@hotmail.com).

Literature Review is like telling a story:

The main parts of a literature review:

The activities of successful PhD students:

Knowledge-seeking is ibadah. It never ends and insya Allah

it will bring positive things in our lives. Aminnn...